Being dishonest in a relationship is nothing uncommon. Again, it cannot be generalized that only men lie to their women, the other way round too, the ration seems to be quite as proportional. However, lies in a relationship, as opposed to common belief, is not always due to unfaithfulness or deceit.
Women, generally believed to be the more suspicious lot, jump to the conclusion of infidelity, whenever they find their husbands or boyfriends lying to them. If you are also one among these ladies and are depressed thinking of something like this, wait and reconsider! There might be several other reasons for which he ,might have lied to you. Consider the following points and judge accordingly. This might strengthen your bond and reunite you on a different level altogether.
Reasons why he might lie to you:
Self-esteem lies
When people have a feeling of being inferior and incompetent, they become chronic liars to their partners about their accomplishments and achievements. They feel unsure and inadequate which compels them to lie.
Avoidance lies
He might sometime lie to you to avoid an angry or a disappointing reaction. Sometimes, avoiding a negative reaction seems preferable to him so he tends to lie about a situation. We all remember how Rehan (Aamir Khan) lies to Zooni (Kajol) in Fanaa, only to save her love for him, don’t we?
Self-denial lies
People tend to lie to themselves to escape from truth that is too painful to accept. These lies hinder their openness and the comfort that he shares with you.
Hide and seek lies
Sometimes he may hide memories that are too painful, perhaps a painful reminder or his past that has considerably scarred him and made him feel unworthy of being loved. The feeling of shame overcomes him.
Concoction lies
To cover up one lie he may tend to spit out more lies and avoid an unpleasant situation because he thinks that is an easy way out of problems.
Lies for compassion
These are lies he says so that you do not get hurt. This has nothing to do about covering up for his mistakes, rather saving you from anything that would make you sad or worried.
The Strength of Honesty
So, you need to talk it out and try to understand him better. Even though his motive to lie is sincere and rather benign, it may have a contagious capability and may turn his into a chronic liar that is seen in most of the cases. Try and explain to him, that however difficult the situation might be, you are not alone, you have him to support you, so he should not lie in fear or hurting or disappointing you. This will also relieve him off the gut feeling he might have after lying to you. After all, the truth will unveil itself at some point. So whats the use of momentary peace?
In a nutshell, your husband or boyfriend lying to you can be for different reasons and infidelity may not be one of them. Sometimes lying is important. To protect the loved one, to avoid an unpleasant situation, covering up or lying is sometimes necessary. It is obviously preferred if your relationship is based on absolute honesty and trust. If that is compromised, your relationship can become a little chaotic, no matter how important he feels lying is.
Read Also: Staying Away From Relationships Is Not The Solution
