One of the more popular series on my blog used to be a series titled #talesfromthelift. You see, I have a wonderful specimen in my building, a person who very soon became quite known to my regular readers.
This person then became the sole title holder of the Lift Man.
No, he has nothing to do with operating the lift. What he does have, however, is a rather amazing talent of displaying the most perfect ways of how not to behave in a lift, especially when you have poor others in the lift beside you.
My horror each day is that I live floors above, so it is almost inevitable that I bump into him. For some horrible alignment of the stars and asteroids above, our timing invariably ends up matching at least once a day.
If you ask me, one of the first things I would say that forms part of the lift etiquette is to let others be. Especially when the lift is quite empty and there is enough space.
Ask him and he’d say absolutely not.For him, it is his duty to make sure he asks where they are going, why they are going where they are, when they will return, what are the plans for the day (really? You really think I am going to discuss my plans with you? hmmm…), what are you watching on the phone (horrible things my friend, horrible shameful things, don’t watch!)…..and really anything and everything starting from Superman kachaddicolour to whatnot.
Image Credit: Movie – 50 shades of grey
When you decide to get into a public space, you are humanly bound to smell good, at least smell fresh, at least smell like you took a bath today, or yesterday, or at least day before that?
And no, no matter how much you try to sneak away to the side and try to dig out the gold from your interiors, we can still see it (oh genie of the lamp, could you please come and take him away to the desert where he can sit and dig around in peace?).
And all of this I endure in a matter of a few seconds and a matter of a few floors! Phew!
I have landed, I am alive, and I shall fight this battle every day.
For now, I am confident I will manage, till maybe he becomes more adventurous and takes on rock climbing as a sport, and decides to try it outside his window (wishful thinking keeping me alive for now).
But is he a little too nosey (all puns intended), or am I more the recluse? I can’t figure it out yet, tell me you.