Love teaches you a lot of things. And one of the most dangerously harming gestures it teaches you is the art of forgiveness. Yes, I call it an art. Because, like most art forms, forgiving is also different for different artists! Also, like most art forms, this particular art can make your life as well as destroy it. So, what is that fine line between forgiving and being made fool of?
No Guilt. No Regrets.
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When you forgive someone you love, make sure they are actually sorry. Make sure they actually feel guilty and regret whatever wrong they did to you. What is the point of forgiveness if there’s no repentance? Someone did something that hurt your feelings. Do not let them discount the fact that YOU WERE HURT. Let them know how you felt and make them feel bad. This is important because they must understand that their actions have consequences.
Notice A Pattern
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Sometimes, the person you love is just toxic. They are just using you and taking you for granted because of your easy forgiveness. They always end up hurting you. They are doing it again and again, while you are forgiving them every damn time. This is where you have crossed the line of being a good person and become a foolish one. If there’s a pattern in front of your eyes, do not ignore it. Please address it and do what’s best for you. Giving someone the power of hurting you again and again can be extremely unhealthy. In fact, if you notice a pattern, you should suggest your love interest to seek help. Such patterns can be a sign of Mental illness too.
Take Your Time
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You must let your feelings process before reaching the stage of forgiveness. Suppressing your feelings of anger and disgust can be extremely harmful for your mental health. This also sends out a negative message to the person you are forgiving. If you forgive too soon, they will not respect what you felt. Thus, give your feelings the time it demands. Let all your thoughts in and let them process. Self-care is of huge significance in matters like these.
I repeat- forgiveness is a wonderful gesture. It’s really kind of you to have the heart to forgive. But it’s also important that people respect that kindness.