Old flames die hard. Remember the time when you thought you and your high school sweetheart will be “together forever”? The world is a very small place and you will be gaping at how the world can surprise you in its own way. What will you decide to do when you stumble into your old flame from school or college at a random office party? Do you walk away? Do you go ahead and talk to them?
Seeing your ex all of a sudden, can be a bolt from the blue especially after a considerable amount of time has passed since the last time you met. It’s worse if the last time you met was when you broke up. In any case, you know a definite response will be expected out of you.
Here is what you can do:
Maintain your calm. Remind yourself how important it is to let things go and help yourself when no one helps you.
You can choose to walk away. You aren’t answerable to anyone for your actions and you can completely decide to ignore that old flame which nearly burnt you alive.
You can walk up to that person and say a hi. In any case you should keep the conversation very casual and minimal. If they ask you out again, you have to say no. Why would you want to read a book again when you know how it ends? You can take a fellow colleague along if you think it might be awkward between the two of you and then strike a conversation which is neutral.
In fact, it’s the safest to just smile in case you have eye-contact. Better not start a conversation yourself. In case the other person strikes up a conversation, reply in a casual and relaxed tone.
Here is what you should avoid:
You however cannot freak out and make it obvious that they somehow still matter to you in whatever insignificant way.
You cannot ask them if they are seeing someone. Chances are they are. And that might hurt you. Sadism is less admirable.
You cannot ask if you can see them again. No, you cannot.
You cannot take that seemingly haunting walk down the memory lane. It will only make things worse if not awkward.
You shouldn’t try and make them jealous. If you are seeing someone, good for you. If you are not, don’t invent imaginary characters. That’s not cool. Learn to be okay with being on your own. Show them, how beautiful it is to have no one to be dependent on.
You cannot tell them that they have changed. Of course they have. Chances are, you have too. Change is the only form of evolution and people evolve every minute.
What to do if you see your ex with their new bae?
Run. No kidding. Just avoid them, till you exit that party. Smoke a cigarette or something and then decide what you want to do. Don’t let this bother you. I am sure you have been through worse. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that you are your own before you are anyone else’s and do whatever it takes to let that sink in. You can choose to have a drink somewhere else at the party, where they would not be visible. Hold on and hang on with your trusted friends, who have been with you through thick and thin. Whatever it is, it’s the right decision because you took it. Moving on is therapeutic. Don’t hold on to toxic things. You will find someone better, someone you deserve. If not, you have your own beautiful self to love and pamper!