You’re in love and it is all rainbows and sparkles. Great! You’re not alone. We have all crossed that station in the journey of a relationship. Let me give you a preview of what lies ahead.
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Optimism is good. Heck, it’s even necessary. But when you’re in a relationship, you may confuse optimism with being blinded-by-love. It’s a pretty common syndrome. If you open your mind just enough to observe- you’ll see that every newbie relationship is infected. When the effect wears off you gain clarity of the situation. The good and the bad!
We’re not pessimists. We’re just messiahs. Your future version has sent us to give you a message.
If you’re in a relationship right now, look out for the following incidents and spot any signs:
They’re Not Okay With Being Left Out
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While we all enjoy the company of our partners, it is also equally important to save some time for yourself. Both of you may mutually favor doing everything together, but will your partner (or even you, for that matter) be genuinely okay if you rather did it by yourself or with your friends? Taking a rain check on a date night gets a pass if you’re catching up with an old friend after the longest time.
Observe Your Own Thoughts
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Do thoughts like ‘My significant other might have an issue with this’ or ‘Shit? I need to hide this fact from my SO’ ever cross your mind when you’re doing something you would generally do without giving a second thought? If not, it’s all good. But if these thoughts do occur often, question yourself where did this come from? Has an action or a conversation or a series of them with your partner ever taken place that could make you assume that you and your better-half could end up in an argument over an otherwise normal subject?
You Don’t Do Things You Did Before
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People change over a period, but is it drastic in your case? You decide. Before you’d catch a movie by yourself every weekend or go bowling with your friends every Tuesday night. Have you grown out of those activities or have you started denying yourself of the simple pastimes you relished before because you’re in a relationship?
You Have To Change Your Ways
If you’re a person who’d usually be delighted to meet new people or go out of your way to help someone, that’s one reason your SO liked you in the first place. However, (and this is common) a sense of insecurity or possessiveness kicks in when you start dating someone. It comes out of a place where they’re not completely comfortable with sharing you. Due to this, they might get upset when they see you get friendly with someone new or when you put your time and energy to make somebody’s (who is not them) life better.
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Inevitably, bringing another person in your life does change things. But if anything, relationships are meant to make things better for you, not worse. If you’re not doing something you would have done had you not been in a relationship, it is time to evaluate things. Granted that your SO is the best damn thing that happened to you, it holds the tiniest bit of meaning if they’re not making you feel like a better version of yourself. It is discerning to question such a sacred dynamic, we get it. But you owe it to yourself, if not to anyone else.