Relationships are hard. They demand a lot of efforts. But it is also the most beautiful thing that’ll happen to you. Having someone to go home to should always be special. Even when your partner gets on your nerves and that can happen especially if you are in a long term relationship, nothing is worth jeopardizing your relationship. But we are only human right? We often say things we don’t mean and regret later. We wallow in the dark thinking of a thousand things we could have said or not said at all than hurting the one we love. Yes we have all been there. And it’s not a great place to be in.
No matter how angry you get with your partner, it’s not very wise to shame that person for whatever reason. Here is why you should swallow your pride and keep quiet when things are falling apart in your head.
Why you shouldn’t be shaming them
- They are only human. If they are naïve or ignorant about something that’s important to you, know that it’s okay. Educate them in a way that will add to their knowledge without having to demean them.
- Respect is one of the pillars of a relationship. If you cannot respect your partner in person or public, it speaks more about you than them.
- Love is meant to give you a sense of fulfillment. Don’t let your significant other feel inadequate just because you can outdo them in whatever way you think you can. Irrespective of your gender, learn to celebrate your partner and treat him/her with courtesy.
- If you are belittling them in public or social media even in a playful manner it’s not acceptable. These are sensitive issues and chances are you will end up alone sooner than you can imagine.
- Shaming is a subtler version of verbal abuse and no one should have to tolerate it. You have one relationship at stake here, so you might want to think before doing anything reckless and stupid.
If you have watched the Bollywood movie Neerja, you must remember, how her husband continually belittled her, which had catastrophic consequences. She realized his folly and left. Not only that, she used it to enhance her sense of self and evolved as a more confident personality.
What to do when they test your patience?
- Try to maintain your calm and not get back at them by saying things that are vengeful. Take your time; walk away if you have to.
- Tell them about it in a way that doesn’t let them feel insulted or stupid. They are your significant other. Don’t treat them with sheer insignificance.
- If you are better at something than your partner that’s good news. Celebrate the glory together instead of you gloating about it. Ego is destructive. It can never be a regenerative force. Remind this to yourself.
- Have an argument if you must. Why do people always think conflict is a bad thing? But one that is constructive and not toxic or worse abusive.
How many times can you walk down the street and meet your better half? If you have them, you are lucky. Don’t treat them like they are ordinary. Know their importance and respect it. Do you really want to lose your significant other by saying or doing something stupid and immature? You earn respect with respect. Love is meant to empower you, not tear you down.