For most it is a ‘move on and never look back’ whereas few also prefer a ‘what’s the harm in staying friends’ mantra after a breakup. This is quite a relatable subject for most of us and admittedly, I spent quite a bit of my time contemplating where to start on such a vast topic. In the end, I’ve decided to jump directly to the burning question.
Can You Be Friends With An Ex Flame? Well, The Answer Is Yes And No.
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It is an absolute ‘NO-NO’ when either of the two is yet to move on or in the case of an ugly breakup (may the relationship rest in peace) or a toxic, unhealthy or manipulative relationship. Neither is it possible nor is it preferred to maintain acquaintance under such circumstances.
So, When Can You Be Friends With Your Ex?
Considering you’ve dated a certain person for a while (or your whole life), you definitely had an understanding and a connection. Inevitably, you developed a unique bond with them. When your relationship ends, it doesn’t always take the bond away. When you break up with a person and choose to maintain an unromantic relationship with them, you really can be friends. You both choose to salvage the better aspects of your relationship and forget the rest. It is not as complicated as it may seem. Depending upon the opinion your ex holds about this subject, you really can make the friendship work.
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Beyond the cloud of your breakup, you will see the person who is not just an ‘ex’. This person also happens to know you better than most people and was a part of your life for years – the good and the bad parts. Deep down when you know that this person holds you in the highest regards and will always want the best for you, doesn’t being friends make sense?
How To Avoid Falling Back Into Old Patterns?
It is very easy to fall back into old patterns because they are comfortable and familiar. We’ve all been there. However, the ones who’ve come out of this will tell you that it is in your favor to stay sane and not crawl back into a relationship with your ex. Remember why you ended it in the first place.
Pro Tip: Go to your friends. No second guessing there. They might just slap some sense into you.
How To Handle The ‘New Relationship’ Talk?
This is slightly tricky. The formula actually depends upon the severity of the relationship you were in, the amount of time that has elapsed since your breakup and the current state of your relationship with your ex. In any case, if you are now friends with your ex you should straight-up have an honest talk with them. Wouldn’t you like to be shown the same courtesy if the roles were reversed?
Consider it more than a blessing if you’re able to retain the good parts of your relationship without letting your past romance get in the way. It is not a cakewalk for sure but it can be, if both of you genuinely wish to be friends.