Love teaches us many things. It teaches us to be compassionate. It teaches us to be giving. It teaches us to be kind. It teaches us forgiveness. And so on. But sometimes, love ends up teaching us something we should never have learnt. It teaches us the art of overlooking your partner’s mistakes. A lot of us end up justifying our partner’s bad or incorrect or unjustified behaviour, just because we are too blinded by love. But, we do not realise how unhealthy and disastrous this can be.
Sets A Dangerous Pattern
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When you make it a habit of justifying your partner’s wrong deeds, you are unknowingly setting a very dangerous pattern. A pattern that will be impossible to break out from after a certain period of time. This habit of yours will make your partner comfortable while doing all those misdeeds and even get away with it. Your partner will never ever realise that certain set of actions are unacceptable and that they must act responsibly. You owe it to yourself to break out of this pattern and let them know what’s wrong.
Welcome To An Adult Relationship
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In an adult relationship, issues are addressed, talked about, and solved. There is a conversation. Both the partners have enough say in the relationship to call out the other for anything they did or did not do. Adult relationships come with whole lot of responsibilities as well. Your partner is responsible for his actions just as much as you are. Stop giving your partner a free pass and try to make them accountable for their actions. By tolerating their bad behaviour, you are not just being disrespected by your partner but also by yourself.
You Are More Scared, Than In Love
Love teaches us courage. Love can never go hand in hand with fear, for fear means lack of faith. And what’s love without trust? This habit of yours to justify your partner’s bad behaviour clearly shows that you are too scared to address the important issues in your relationship. You are trying to get away from that discussion fearing you’ll lose them. A healthy relationship doesn’t use this fear of losing each other to tolerate bad behaviour but in fact uses it to become a better person for your partner. But if your partner is constantly behaving badly, it means they aren’t scared of losing you. They are just using your fear against you. Maybe it’s time you realise that and start calling them out for their mistakes.
It’s good to be scared. It means you really care about being together. But make sure that your fear isn’t used against you. You cannot allow yourself to be disrespected and mistreated by your partner. Or even by yourself!