9 tips to help the #CommitmentPhobia discover love

It is a big transition for strong and independent people to enter and stay in a committed relationship. Here are nine tips that may help overcome the fear and find love.


Strong and independent people dislike relying on others for favours, they like to fight their battles solo. Simple and mundane things sharing a salad or planning weekends together could be a huge disruption change in their lifestyle; this doesn’t mean they have to be lonely or single. Here are  some simple things to help such single souls to get into a committed relationship without losing their sense of self identity or independence.

1. All relationships require some work

You cannot be fearful of commitments because they require some effort and work. In fact, when you are with the right partner, compromise does not feel like an effort. It is better to have someone by your side than to fight those battles alone.

2. Do not fear the label

It can be difficult to be typecast into stereotypes. But it is ok to be labeled as someone’s “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”. Making it official or declaring your relationship does not take your personality away from you. In fact, it adds to who you are.

3. You can still remain wild and young, even with a relationship

Often, such independent folks fear giving up their independent and reckless lives. They fight to keep the inner child alive. However, it is also possible to remain young and spirited if you find the right partner. In fact, the partner can help you live life more fully and remain young forever.

4. Do not get stuck in the past

You may have a negative experience in the past, but all people are not same. It is understandable you do not want to get hurt again, but you only get wiser with experiences. So, step out and try that new relationship.

5. Love does not always come with boundaries

You may have found the perfect balance in your life. Any change in lifestyle or getting out of your comfort zone is understandably uncomfortable; But keep an open mind, relationships are made possible by people and neither of them have rule book nor exact boundaries.

6. Not everyone is shallow or selfish

You have become so tough, inside and outside, because you have realized that the world moves on the principle of individualism. However, if you think with a fresh perspective, you may realize that love is an actual possibility. You may be with someone who thinks like you do, and is not shallow or selfish.

7. Even introverts fall in love

When you grow up an introvert or a loner, you are typecast into those quiet brooding category, who prefer to be by themselves. But it is a misconception to think that introverts do not believe in love. They just express themselves and their feelings in a different way and also opening up to someone takes a longer time for them than an extrovert or happy-go-lucky.

8. Love yourself

Being in a relationship does not mean you are worth any less. Like Osho said, your cup of love has to be full and then overflow, for you to spread affection and happiness. So keep your cup full of love. You can alway work out a ‘me time’ for yourself and run existential questions in your mind or just take a walk in park!

9. Know your priorities

Work, career, living in particular city may be your current priority and the reason behind Commitmentphobia; but as time passes, you’ll start to notice friends have moved on and your office doesn’t care how what you sacrificed. Think of the larger perspective in life as having the right companion has life time benefits.



(Image Credits: pixabay, giphy)