Falling in love is good. But getting down and dirty and committing to them inevitably raises a big question mark? This dreaded concept is called the ‘Commitment Issue’. Like all ‘issues’, this too can be dealt with healthily. But first, you’ve got to know if the symptoms tell before you find the cure.
Labels Scare You Away
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You like them. Hell! You might even be in love with them, but the mere tags ‘girlfriend’ or ‘boyfriend’ is enough to throw you off. You’re subconsciously wired to run away at the slightest hint of a commitment. For instance, the word ‘relationship’ might be even to tick you off and trick you into eschewing your own happiness. Before you know it, you’re on stage 4 of your own escapade to the island of Isolation because someone addressed your love interest as your partner.
Impact Of Relationships Of Those Around You
Not limiting to romantic link ups, many a times the impact of negative experiences of those around us affect our thoughts about the subject, thereby deeply altering it to a level of commitment phobia. The examples could vary from unfulfilled friendships to a void in the relationship with one’s immediate family or even the product of a divorced marriage of someone close to you. If you haven’t had the contentment from any relationships in your life, you subconsciously start believing that all relationships are meant to be incomplete. Your actions too will, intentionally or unintentionally, reflect your hesitation or lack of confidence about the relationship when it comes to taking it to the next level.
It’s A Cycle
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As you grow up, you start noticing this pattern which you now realize is actually a deep-rooted fear of commitment. Your continuous cycle of failed relationships caused due to the same reasons are solid evidence in the case. While it’s absolutely normal to date several people before you find “the one”, it sure is a wise thing to know if it is a commitment issue that is causing the high relationship turnover rate. You can’t open up yourself to anyone beyond a point, and if that’s what is holding your relationship back, it is a strong sign of commitment phobia. It’s nothing to be ashamed of but you do need to seek help if you feel that it is causing more harm in your personal life than you can take on.
Your Head Feels Messy When You Think Of A ‘Relationship’
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So, you’re ‘going out’ with the person you like. You guys are getting lunches and dinners together, you’re staying up at each other’s places and exchange texts all day. All is fine up until it’s time to call it ‘dating’. When you hear the word, does your brain shut itself off and run away? That’s more common than you’d think. You don’t want to deal with the discussion or the mere thought of it because it feels very messy and you want to avoid it at all costs. But how would you feel if you once gathered the courage to first deal with the issue yourself and isolate the one issue that becomes a hurdle in an otherwise awesome relationship?
There are ways to get over these issues. Just stick around people you really love. Do not be scared of committing. How? We will discuss that in another article.