By Aarti Asrani
His gentle touch brushes against my hair as he looks deeply into my eyes and speaks the unspoken. My heart fills up and we kiss. It feels perfect, his arms wrapped around, holding me tight as I fall sound asleep.
We all love the idea of love. We all love to be in love. We love the excitement, the passion, the drama, the intimacy, the rush and the heartbreak.
The way we perceive love can be based on the movies or a fairy tale we heard once upon a time, but these are the stories we cling to and based on this we create a fantasy of what true love should be.
The way he should hold me, the way she speaks, the way he will propose or the way she dresses, all are tainted by the illusions that we create and the way we define love.
You go searching for this love across the world; mountains high and valleys low just to return empty-handed and even if we find the one we ruin it by expecting that one person to be our, everything. The lover, the homemaker, the friend, the movie buff, the shopping partner, the hugger, the adventurer, the dancer, the listener and so many more roles we assign to them. You might as well get a slave.
Then What Is The Solution? Where Does One Find Love? What Is love?
To begin with, it is important to be aware that every individual has a different definition of love. For you love might be watching the starlit sky holding hands and for him, it could be a long drive on a quiet night. For you, it could be cuddling in bed in the morning and for him, it could be going for a run together at the break of dawn.
Love is different for different people and we expect others to match our definition of love time and again. We expect them to be everything and when that does not happen, when we are not in allowance of another then this journey starts its descent.
Some may argue, but isn’t that love? Isn’t he supposed to take all his vacations with me? Are we not supposed to cuddle in bed? Are we not supposed to do things together? Should he not support me?
Is This Love Or Are These Conditions To Love?
Love between two individuals should begin with a complete allowance of themselves and the other, where each one is allowed to be them in totality. It is the journey of the two individuals who choose to have it the way it works for them. Love is whatever you like it to be not how the world expects it to be. Not what the storyteller said but what works for you and your partner. After all, it is two real people not fictional character’s that are in love.
One may be in this quest for love, one may have found another but at the end of the day the ones that are truly happy are the ones who awaken to themselves are true to themselves and love themselves above all.
Get to know yourself. Do you know who you are? What do you like to eat? What would you like to wear? Where would you like to go for lunch today? Or for a vacation? What kind of people would you like to add to your life? What is that you like to create and experience in this life? Have you tapped into you?
We fall in love with a person we know. So why not get to know our self and rise in love with our self.
Maybe its time to find the greatest love of all. Maybe its time you rise in love with YOU.