We are all absolutely aware of how important conversations are in any relationship. But we often tend to forget this when it comes to sex. We know how to want it. We know how to do it. We know how to enjoy it. But we have no idea how to talk about it. Weird, isn’t it? It is time to change that. The “sex conversation” is very important for a healthy sex life. You should talk before doing it and you should even talk after. Discuss each other’s preferences and concerns before, and discuss each other’s experience and feedback after. This will only bring you both closer.
In fact, research suggests that romantic partners who discuss sex in their normal conversation tend to be in a 10 times happier relationship as compared to those who do not. The couples who choose to stay away from the subject often end up having a messed up sex life!
You Can Address Your Concerns & Preferences
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Each individual is entitled to their own idea of sex and body image. Some like to take it slow while some like to all the way in the first few dates. To each their own! But when you’re in a relationship, you need to be on the same page about things as intimate as sex. While some people may have body image issues, while some may have doubts about a certain part of sex and sometimes the conversations may include something as basic as lights on or lights off. As romantic partners, it is important that you both know each other’s boundaries in order to not violate it unintentionally. You might hesitate in the beginning, but you’ll find it extremely advantageous if you put your opinion forward. Sounds like a win-win situation to us!
If You’d Like To Turn It Up Or Down A Notch
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Trust us; you wouldn’t want to go smack dab onto the 50 Shades level without having an honest conversation first. The same goes for soft love making. While both scenarios may sound pleasurable to different audiences, you’d want to cater more so to your partner’s desire. There are specific conversations you must have with your partner to make your time in the bedroom much more fun. Discuss play by play what you and your partner would together enjoy more. Simple instructions such as “I love it when you go slowly” or “I’d love me some more foreplay” will work wonders. Communicate your sexual fantasies and place them on a ‘Yes/No/Maybe’ list. Blindfolds, handcuffs, anal sex, etc might be something you’d rather discuss before being disappointed mid-sex.
If You’re Experiencing Sexual Dysfunction Or Detachment
It is extremely common to undergo sexual Detachment in physical relationships whether it is failure to launch or premature party ending. The awkward conversation can be rerouted simply by diverting attention towards your pleasure. Ask for more! However, if you realize that your dysfunction isn’t a onetime thing, you can talk about it with your partner and then consult a sex therapist too. There could be many underlying emotions such as stress, secrecy, physical diseases, etc. If you’re on the receiving end of the news, be encouraging with your partner and remind them that you’re in this together. It’s a bigger deal in your head, really.
Having these sex conversations with your partner cover the basics of pillow talk. These are foolproof ways to not set yourself up for disappointment in the bedroom. If you don’t tell them, they won’t know and then you’ll never know the real pleasure. Be open and communicative with your romantic partner about your sexual preferences thereby making the experience that much more enjoyable.